Skip to main content

Little Steps of Faith


November 14, 2010 I posted to Facebook:
"Why did I go there?   Why didn't he?"

Nathan had just dropped me off at home after we finally had the opportunity to celebrate our anniversary. We had been in our courtship for 3 years and I was expecting more out of our time together than he was. We were on the same page when we agreed to enter this relationship with the intent to get married, but somewhere in the waiting, we got out of sync. Nathan was working for Fresno County Parks and Recreation and didn't have the finances to raise a family, so he refused to officially propose until he could afford to take care of me. It made me so frustrated and I sadly met every milestone with hopeful anticipation that he might put a ring on it.

I remember so vividly how I felt when I posted this. I went to dinner that night thinking he was going to finally propose - and when he didn't I was crushed inside. I spent the night and the better part of the next day crying into my pillow. Little did I know that the following anniversary would be even worse. Another year passed along with a dozen opportunities he didn't take advantage of... magical moments of joy and laughter inevitably ending in my crying secret tears. I loved him so much and wanted so badly for him to make the gesture that proved he felt the same.
It wasn't until December of that following year that I couldn't wait anymore and gave him until the end of the year to officially commit.

He proposed on New Years Eve, just a couple hours before the year was over.
Minutes after he proposed
Later I would find out that he had planned to propose at Disneyland the following month, but that my parents told him not to wait. And although it would have been amazing, I'm so glad he didn't wait.
Not long after he proposed, God opened the door to a great job for Nathan as a sub. Once he stepped out in faith, God provided. Everything fell into place after that. We were married another year later, following 5 years of courtship.

If you're waiting for the perfect time to make a move (no matter what that move might be), it'll never happen. It doesn't work that way. I almost left Nathan. Which brings me to another point... don't be impatient. I knew that Nathan was God's will for my life, but I was so caught up in my own desire that I almost missed out on this amazing life with this amazing man and our amazing miracle child.
It hasn't been easy, but nothing worth anything ever is. It takes hard work, dedication and little leaps of faith. Sometimes all God wants us to do is step out. Sometimes He just needs us to hold on a little longer. No matter what side of the equation you're standing on, God is still faithful. He loves us and He wants the best for us. Pray, seek His face, and don't get tired of doing what is right.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A New Chapter in Faith

We visited a revival at a friend's church a few years ago. The preacher was praying in the mist of a Spirit-filled alter call. My mind was bombarded with the words of my OBGYN ( you can read my struggle here ) and when the Spirit moved within me, my heart began to cry out for God to answer my many prayers. My soul had felt so heavy at the thought that my dreams might never be realized. I wanted to be a mom more than anything and I was processing the fact that it was possible I may never hold my very own offspring in my arms. I was heartbroken, depressed and longing to hear from God.  And that's when He spoke to me, clear as day, loud and strong. I wasn't in the altar, but He met me where I was. "I hear your prayers and I know your heart. You will give birth to a child.  It will be your own flesh and blood.  Have faith in Me. You will be a mom." God answered me. He answered ME. Who am I that He thought enough of me to let me hear His voice? Who...
Post a Comment
Go On »

Can You Handle It?

Your baby has cancer. She's not quite a baby anymore, but she's your only child... a miracle birthed from years of infertility and hormone treatments. She is the center of your world. You spent her entire childhood protecting her as best as you could. You prayed for her daily. You raised her up in the ways of the Lord. You've watched her grow into a beautiful young woman who is compassionate and caring. She lights up every room she enters and she truly has been a blessing from God. You are so thankful that God has allowed you a daughter so precious, but there she lies in that hospital bed and you are unable to make it better. This is one boo-boo you can't kiss. You'd trade places with her in a heartbeat, but God has not granted that request thus far. She's not upset, but you are. The mounting medical bills, the straining to hold onto hope that she will be healed, the days you've missed at work that have led to excessive worrying about your job securi...
Post a Comment
Go On »

My Rainbow

I can't believe I get to be her mommy. It's been seven and a half months since I gave birth to this little miracle. I think back on the things I've been through to get to this place and there are moments I still can't believe it's real. God is so amazing and works things out in HIS time. I remember thinking about Sarah ( Genesis 18 ) who had to wait until she was 91 years old to hold Issac in her arms ( Genesis 21 ). I remember wondering if that would be me. I was glad I had Sarah to learn from. I would not fall into her desperations ( Genesis 16 ). I would not lose faith or give up. I turned to scripture for reassurance. My favorite was Luke 1:45 which says "And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord." People thought we were weird buying items for a baby that was yet to be conceived, but we stepped out in faith and didn't doubt God for a second. I believed God's promise and I wa...
Post a Comment
Go On »